I was first introduced to the idea of complementarianism (the idea that
men and women were created equal in the image of God, but with unique,
complementary roles in God’s creative design) in September of 2014. I received a message one evening asking for
me and my husband to come in to the church office on Friday morning that
week. During that meeting, Pastor Steve
introduced us to the idea of complementarianism. This was the first time that I had heard of
this particular theology. Pastor Steve
briefly explained that complementarianism is based on the gender roles God laid
out in creation. He explained that, in
order to truly teach through the Bible in the way he felt called to do, he
needed to be able to have the conversation with the church leadership and come
to agreement on the model WEC (Water's Edge Church) would use. For instance, in order to teach that marriage
is a picture of Christ and the church and to teach the submission taught in
Ephesians 5:21-33, the church leadership should be modeling the same
relationship(s). I left that meeting confused. Pastor Steve made it seem so simple but my
brain was on information overload.
Obviously if I bought into this complementarianism, there would be some
major impacts on me since I was currently serving on the elder board. I’ve grown up around guys and I don’t like
being told what I can and cannot do, especially not if the reason was because
I’m a girl, so the idea that this complementarian model would necessitate me
stepping down, just because I’m female, didn’t sit well.
In October 2014, just after my meeting with Pastor Steve, the Elder
board started diving into what the Bible says about women in ministry. We decided as a group that we would take
several months to study the issue together and individually and come to a
consensus on whether we believed this was the true Biblical model that WEC
should be following. It was decided that
no elders would be stepping down in 2014 as a result of this study but that all
elders would continue into 2015 while continuing to seek the Lord’s guidance.
Early on in my studies I read a book (Women in Ministry: Four Views) where four evangelical Christians
presented their arguments for and against the four major views of women’s roles
in church leadership: traditional, complementarian, plural ministry, and egalitarian. These arguments focused on the New Testament
passages surrounding this issue: 1 Corinthians 11:2-16, Galatians 3:28,
Ephesians 5:21-33, and 1 Timothy 2:8-15.
I found all of these arguments confusing because I could see valid
points on both sides of the discussion. The
complementarian view seemed valid if you focused on the creation agreement used
in 1 Timothy 2, but the egalitarian (full equality) view focusing on Galatians
3:28 was very appealing to justify not having to change the way I was currently
living. It seemed to me that it all
depended on which passage(s) you chose as the basis of your argument. The question became which passage was the
correct one to base my position on. I
struggled with buying in to the idea that the New Testament passages were the
final say on this topic. I just couldn’t
get over the fact that Paul seemed to contradict himself if you read the
passages individually. Then I found a
sermon series from The Village Church’s Matt Chandler called A Beautiful
Design. The series, based on Genesis 1-2,
focused on God’s creative design for men and women. This series did more for my understanding and
acceptance of the issue than any other single source. It led me to focus my study and my decision on
Genesis, creation of man (men and women) in the image of God.
Through Genesis I saw it clearly presented that both men and women were
in fact created in the image of God, giving them equal status as reflections of
God, and that men and women were in fact given distinct roles when they were
created. Once I truly understood the
idea that God created men and women equally, but with different roles, I found
that the New Testament passages made more sense.
When I started studying this issue, as a female in church leadership, I
had to find a reason that made sense to me as to why I was no longer allowed to
hold my position. The arguments made by
Paul in his letters just weren’t enough for me.
But seeing God’s original design laid out in Genesis, how he designed
men and women, that made sense. I could
get onboard with all of Paul’s teachings if I read them in light of
Genesis. Genesis 1:27 says “So God
created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and
female he created them.” Both men and
women are equally a reflection of the image of God. That lines up with Galatians 3:28. Genesis 2:15 says that “The LORD God took the
man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.” Man’s responsibility was to work and keep the
Earth. Then in verse 18 it says “Then
the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a
helper fit for him.’” So the woman was
created to be a “helper fit for” the man.
The word used for “helper” in Genesis is used often in the Old Testament
for how God is our Help. That means that
being a helper is not inherently an inferior role because obviously God is not
inferior to man. Finally getting this,
understanding that being the helper isn’t an inferior role, was important. I couldn’t accept having a lesser role just
because I’m a woman. That never seemed
fair to me. But I realized after reading
Genesis that being a helper in this sense can actually be a greater role. The job of the helper is to assist the person
with primary responsibility do something they cannot complete on their
own. Women were created as helpers to
men because men could not complete the duties God gave them on their own. God designed us so that we needed each other,
men and women together reflecting his image as two halves of a whole. I realized that as women, we actually have a
great responsibility to encourage our men, to assist them in the home so they
can lead the family, and to assist them in their leadership of the church with
whatever support they need. It’s our job
to be the backbone of support so that they can lead confidently knowing that we
are behind them. On the other hand if we
are trying to take the leadership from them, we are taking away their God-given
right to “work and keep”. We are
hindering their ability to truly reflect their half of the image of God because
they cannot fully perform the work they have been given. I know this is something that I have been
guilty of and it is something that I am consciously trying to change.
For me the most important discovery in all of this was God’s design in
creation. The New Testament passages are
important because they are still the Words of God. And it is important to understand why Paul
wrote about women being silent in church and women not being permitted to hold
authority over men. It’s important to
understand that “there is no male and female” when it comes to our
salvation. But if you truly look at Paul’s
arguments, they all go back to Genesis and the way God designed the
relationship between men and women. It’s
not a cultural issue like many people want to make it. It doesn’t really matter that today’s culture
says men and women should be equal in everything meaning exactly the same. God created us with specific roles in
mind. Just because culture wants to
change that doesn’t mean we can go back on God’s design. In the Matt Chandler series he points out
several times that Christian or not, you cannot deny the facts that if men are
present and step up and lead, everything flourishes, but if men are not in the
picture, things fall apart. Men were
designed to lead, both in the home, and, as a reflection of the marriage
relationship between Christ and the church, in the church as well. Women were designed to be helpers, to assist
the men in their responsibility to lead, but not to take the leadership role
away.
It all hinges on this: do we believe what the Bible says about God’s
creative design, or do we listen to what culture says about equality of the
sexes? Whose plan do I truly want to
follow? God’s plan that leads to
flourishing? Or culture’s that leads to
fitting in?
